This is a letter to an imaginary friend, who has sought advice as he takes up a new position as pastor* in a church of a hundred and fifty members. We’ll call him David.
Dear David,
Therefore go and make disciples. Matt 28.19a
Be strong and courageous. Josh 1.6a
Thanks so much for asking me for advice. That is very brave 😂.
I believe very strongly that when the church invited you to become its leader, this confirmed your calling. To lead a community of God’s people is both a calling and a privilege. So, as requested, here are some thoughts that I hope will be helpful as you begin work in your new role.
THE NUMBER ONE PRIORITY
Nothing is more important than your own relationship with God. This should be blindingly obvious, but it’s so obvious that some leaders miss it. So, I’m using up some of my precious words to drive the point home.
Prioritise your own spiritual life above all things.
This is not selfishness. It is essential. You are no good to your church unless you are walking closely with the Lord. Led by the Spirit of God. Without a rich inner life, you’re like a car without an engine, a kite without the wind, a sailing boat without a sail. Ensure you make time to develop the spiritual disciplines that lie at the heart of your own growth and intimacy with Jesus. Solitude. Simplicity. Prayer. Fasting. Study. Scripture reading and meditation. Worship.
Never, ever, become so busy that your devotional life suffers. If, at any point, you feel yourself drifting, please seek help.
DON’T NEGLECT YOUR FAMILY
Pastors sometimes believe that working fourteen hours a day is noble. It is not. Certainly, God should hold your greatest affection, but as a married man, you are not your own. You belong also to your wife, and your children need time with you. Do NOT neglect them.
MISTAKEN IDENTITY
Don’t ever tie your primary identity to your calling. You are first and foremost a child of God, dearly loved. Your role as a leader is important but never see it as anything more than a gift from God. And a privilege. One day, he may move you on to something different. Your primary identity as child of God, however, never, ever changes. You are his child forever.
THE NEW BOY
You’re the new boy. New boys shouldn’t make waves. During the first few months, your task is simply to learn. The community you’ve joined has a long history. It must be respected and understood if you’re to have any chance of implementing change. Learning about what has happened in your community before your arrival is never wasted time.
‘Forewarned is forearmed’ and all that.
PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE
Church leadership is the ultimate people business. It’s all about relationships. With God. With your fellow believers. With external partners. Building relationships with those you want to reach with the gospel. (For more on relationships, read this post.)
Spend the first few months learning names. They are the key to a person’s heart. Meet Jerry one Sunday and remember his name the following Sunday—you’ll have a friend for life. (For more on the importance of names, read this post.)
You can’t know everyone at the same depth, so prioritise the relationships you want to invest in. The people on your leadership team. The home group leaders. The youth and children’s volunteers. Get to know them well. Show you care by remembering the details. Then work out how you will either disciple them or organise for them to be discipled. When it comes to discipling others one-on-one, invest only in key people who will then disciple others. Delegate. You cannot do it all.
BE A LEADER
Be a leader. You are not just a facilitator, you are a leader. So it’s necessary to avoid a lot of the self-deprecating false modesty that is common among leaders nowadays. Me? Oh, not me. Look to Jesus! The apostle Paul didn’t lead like this, and neither should you.
Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do.
Phil 3.17
Leadership is influence (read a post on this.) The pastor exercises that influence by living a life of integrity, by showing others what it looks like to follow Jesus. This is not vanity. It is leadership. After you’ve been at the church for a while (the Lord will guide you on this), you will need to move from simply completing tasks (preaching, leading meetings etc) towards casting vision.
VISION, VISION, VISION
Great leaders know how to cast vision. (Read a post on this.) It’s terribly tempting to wrap vision up in theological language. Growing disciples. Reaching the lost. Building the kingdom. Creating community. All true, but how will your particular church reach these goals? How do you intend for people to become disciples and make disciples? If it involves teaching, then how will you establish good teaching? (It has to be more than just a Sunday sermon. Preaching is great, but it’s not teaching.) How will the church reach the lost? How will you build community? What will hospitality in your church look like? What is the purpose of your small group gatherings? Over time, you will need to answer these questions.
CULTURE
Vision ties directly into the culture of a church. Culture is simply ‘behaviour based on our beliefs’. Or, as I like to say . . .
It’s what we do around here.
Cultures can be weak or strong (or in-between). You must work to create the kind of culture that enables your people to implement the vision you have given them. Churches with strong leaders and strong cultures tend to have members who know exactly what the church is about, what its priorities are, and which activities are important to achieve the goals set out by Jesus in the gospels.
If you want to communicate ‘what we do around here’, then a new members class is a great way to do that. It is a unique opportunity to talk about expectations. A church with very low expectations tends towards a ‘smorgasbord’ culture. Members engage as much or as little as they wish. Some hardly eat at all. In churches with strong cultures, leaders never pressure new members, but they do call for ‘active participation’. They urge new members to engage in ‘what we do around here’. They expect people to . . . dare I say it . . . make an effort, turn up, commit. Never forget, however, that creating a culture like this takes time and needs the agreement of your leadership team. Once you and the leadership team embody ‘what we do around here’, others will follow.
A LITTLE HUMILITY
Remember, also, that you require due humility. God has been working among your people for years. So, first, discover where God is already working. Where you see good things happening, encourage. Rejoice when the Lord does wonderful things in and through your people that have nothing to do with you. It is the Lord’s church, not yours.
EQUIP AND RELEASE
So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.
Eph 4.11-12
Equip his people for works of service.
This is your job description. To help your people flourish in the gifts they have been given. For some leaders—perhaps because of a lack of vision or courage—equipping simply means preaching a sermon each Sunday. This is inadequate. May I encourage you, therefore, to think creatively and boldly when it comes to the task of equipping. One-on-ones, prayer triplets, seminars, courses, even conferences that unlock the tremendous knowledge and gifts among your own members. There are many ways to equip your people.
AVOID BURNOUT
Plan to rest. And then rest. Properly. Living Leadership's Refresh services are available to help you make space to do that, you can also check out our articles on Ministerial Burnout for some signs and solutions.
A WARNING ABOUT PEOPLE PLEASING
It’s very easy to become a people pleaser. After all, your congregation—via the elders—pays your salary. They can fire you. But you’re not there to be popular. You’re there to lead. So you must lead with conviction. Not abusively and selfishly, but self-sacrificially and wisely. Together with your leadership team. You are accountable to one person only. The Lord Jesus. He’s the only one you live to please.
ACCOUNTABILITY
It’s nice to spend time with close friends who are believers. They will support you. But I’m not sure this rises to the level of accountability. Proper accountability involves someone who will ask you searching questions about your devotional life, your time, your body (sex), your money, your areas of weakness and shame. This takes a very special person (or persons), who will love you whatever you tell them. If you can find someone like this, you are mightily blessed. Otherwise, meet with some friends regularly and pray together. That’s better than nothing.
NEVER TAKE A HOLIDAY IN THE FIRST TWO WEEKS OF SEPTEMBER
Why? Because it’s best to cast vision about the new year . . . at the beginning of the new year! This takes place not in January but in September, when many return from holiday and a new school year begins. If you’re not there, you will leave an enormous gap where you should be. Your people seek direction and encouragement at the beginning of the year. They need to see you and hear from you.
I think sometimes pastors should view God as Willy Wonka. Wild, immensely creative and powerful, unfathomable, and generous. As C.S. Lewis would say, ‘Not safe, but good.’ Following him requires a willingness to join him in an elevator that blasts through the roof. That takes great courage. So, as you grasp your golden ticket, be bold and unafraid, because he’s right there with you. Always.
Grace and Peace,
Richard
* The titles of church leaders and their leadership structures vary across denominations. However, this post applies to any church faithful to the Lord, whichever titles are used.