Happy New Year!
Resolutions, anyone? No? Is that a smirk I just saw?
Conventional wisdom on resolutions is that they’re a waste of time. The moment someone talks about their resolutions, we nod sagely, thinking ‘This person is kidding, right? Why bother? They’ll be a heap of vain hopes by February.’
As the saying goes, the road to the bad place is paved with good intentions. And that just about sums up new year’s resolutions. Good intentions destined to fail.
Well, today, a different take.
NOBLE ASPIRATIONS
What is a resolution but a declared intention to improve some aspect of one’s life. We don’t make resolutions about eating more, spending more time in the pub or being more unkind. On the contrary, many resolutions have to do with eating healthily, exercising more, volunteering, reconciling, or giving more. They express a desire to improve, not deteriorate. So the first thing to recognise is that the vast majority of those who make resolutions have good hearts. Or at least good intentions.
And they desire to change. Some yearn to change and they truly believe that making a resolution will produce the kind of change they desire.
BEWARE CYNICISM
We often sneer at these sentiments. Essentially, we do this because we’ve imbibed a cynical attitude towards change. And frankly, that’s ungodly. Of course, we call this realism and we think we’re savvy because, well, we know better. But is that really true? Do we know better? Or like many in this world, have we unconsciously joined many who simply drag others down. You think you can change? No chance, mate! That’s not an attitude to be proud of.
Resolutions, whether destined for failure or not, are, for the most part, noble aspirations. And we should encourage such thinking. Especially when the resolutions include such things as more prayer, more commitment, more discipline to serve the Lord.
RESOLUTIONS OFTEN FAIL
This is the gritty reality, isn’t it? Resolutions do often fail. Hence the widespread cynicism. And if we want to remain positive about resolutions, we must ask ourselves two penetrating questions.
Is change possible?
If it is, how can resolutions make that change stick?
CHANGE IS POSSIBLE
If change weren’t possible, we might as well pack up and go home. No more church, no more Bible studies, no more prayers. All our beliefs about sanctification in shreds. Let’s start with this famous verse in Romans.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12.2
Be transformed. Changed. Yes, it’s possible. And then there’s another very well-known verse in Philippians.
In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Phil 1.4-6
This is the classic verse indicating sanctification. We are being changed by our God, who works within us by his Spirit. The apostle Paul puts it this way.
And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
2 Cor 3.18
The problem is that many of us continue to live with the spirit of Paul’s words in his letter to the Romans.
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do . . . For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing.
Rom 7.15,19
If we keep living in Romans 7, and in particular wallow in these verses without contextualising them with the glorious culmination of Romans 8, then we will lose hope. So, yes, change is possible.
CAN RESOLUTIONS HELP?
Resolutions are simply goals. And goals aren’t general, they’re specific. You may have heard that goals need to be SMART.
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Relevant
Time-bound
RULE OF LIFE
This past year, I’ve been meeting with, let’s call him a counsellor, a spiritual guide. He suggested that I write a Rule of Life, following the practice of the Benedictines. A Rule of Life is simply a list of specific goals related to one’s spiritual life—‘spiritual’ in the sense of encompassing one’s whole life, physical and unseen. So I wrote my Rule of Life and was quickly informed that ‘praying more’ or even ‘praying regularly’ was inadequate. Why? Not specific enough. ‘Meeting with my mentees regularly’ was also insufficient. How often? Who? So I re-wrote it. And it was specific and it met with my guide’s approval. It has made a difference. If he’s reading this, he will be encouraged. There is, however, one thing that is deficient in my practice.
I need more accountability. A lot more.
I should probably take note of Alcoholics Anonymous.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
AA works on the principle of community. Former addicts meet in order to hear each other’s stories and remind themselves that they are not alone. And this helps, but it’s not enough. Most who attend AA meetings also have sponsors, someone to talk to outside the meetings, someone to reach for when life seems overwhelming. A form of accountability.
CONFESSION
The Church used to have something similar; it was called confession. Yet, due to many factors, including the abuse of this practice in Church history, it fell out of favour. The Scriptures, however, are clear on its merits.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1.9
And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
Jas 5.15-16
James urges his readers to ‘confess your sins to each other’ (though in the context of healing). John doesn’t specify that we should confess to each other. Both, however, view confession as a good thing.
Is this accountability?
Not exactly, but it could certainly be part of an accountability relationship. One built on love, friendship and a desire for holiness.
FRATERNALS
What do church leaders often do when considering the question of accountability? Many meet up with other leaders from outside their communities. A fraternal (or women's equivalent). Perhaps you’re part of one. The aim is mutual support, and all those who speak of their experiences with fraternals speak highly of their impact. This is wonderful. Mutual support, friends supporting friends. Fantastic.
But they rarely involve accountability. That’s my impression.
Accountability requires a level of humility and submission to another that many avoid. It requires us to be vulnerable. Confession does the same thing. We’re opening up about our sins and inadequacies, and in a proper accountability relationship, excuses are viewed as just that. Excuses.
So, what about you?
Do you want to change?
The passage in 1 John talks openly about our tendency to deceive ourselves. Confession and accountability aim to tackle this tendency head on. We cannot change ourselves without the work of God’s Spirit, that goes without saying, but we also need community. We need brothers and sisters with us on this journey, those who will challenge, pray, and love us towards holiness.
I wonder if you’ve ever made resolutions. I wonder if you’ve ever been truly accountable to another person? Is this the year to consider this practice? And have you ever written a Rule of Life? Perhaps this is the year to make a resolution to do so.
But more important than anything else is our commitment to holiness, to following Jesus with all our hearts and placing him at the centre of all our decisions. Including whether to find true accountability.
New Year’s resolutions, anyone?
They’re not for everyone, but if you ever make them, ensure you find people to walk alongside you, friends who will support you on your journey towards greater holiness.
It’s a journey we can only accomplish together.
That’s how the Lord designed it.
Be blessed.